On Not Wanting to Live 生无可恋？ On Not Wanting to Live 生无可恋 There are experiences which one cannot survive, after which one feels that there is no meaning left in anything. 总会有一些令人无法承受的经历，从此人们就会觉得一切已经失去了意义。 Once you have reached the limits of life, having lived to extremity all that is offered at those dangerous borders, the everyday gesture and the usual aspiration lose their seductive charm. If you go on living, you do so only through your capacity for objectification, your ability to free yourself, in writing, from the infinite strain. Creativity is a temporary salvation from the claws of death. 一旦大限将至，不免陷入危机重重的绝境，日常的待人接物和常有的渴望都不再有吸引人的力量。倘若你还活着，你只有通过毫无限制写作所产生的客观物化力解放你自己。创作是脱离死亡魔爪的短暂救赎。 I feel I must burst because of all that life offers me and because of the prospect of death. I feel that I am dying of solitude, of love, of despair, of hatred, of all that this world offers me. With every experience I expand like a balloon blown up beyond its capacity. The most terrifying intensification bursts into nothingness. 我感到我必会因生给予我的一切，因死之前景而炸裂。我感到我会因为孤独、为爱情、为绝望、为憎恨，因这世界给我的一切而死去。我像一个超越承受极限的气球，每一分体验却不断地让我继续膨胀。最为恐怖激烈地爆炸进虚无。 You grow inside, you dilate madly until there are no boundaries left, you reach the edge of light, where light is stolen by night, and from that plenitude as in a savage whirlwind you are thrown straight into nothingness. Life breeds both plenitude and void, exuberance and depression. What are we when confronted with the interior vortex which swallows us into absurdity? I feel my life cracking within me from too much intensity, too much disequilibrium. It is like an explosion which cannot be contained, which throws you up in the air along with everything else. 你暗自滋长，你疯狂扩张，超越所有的界限，你抵达了光明的尽头，光明在此为黑夜所窃取，这里充满了黑暗，犹如你被一股狂暴的龙卷风直接抛掷进了虚无。生命同时滋养着充盈和空无、生机和萎靡。当我们对抗着将我们卷入荒谬之中的内心漩涡时，我们又是什么呢？我感到我的生命由于太过于激烈、太过于不 安定 ，而破裂了。这就犹如一场无法遏制的爆炸，你和其他一切全都轰上了天。 At the edge of life you feel that you are no longer master of the life within you, that subjectivity is an illusion, and that uncontrollable forces are seething inside you, evolving with no relation to a personal center or a definite, individual rhythm. At the edge of life everything is an occasion for death. You die because of all there is and all there is not. Every experience is in this case a leap into nothingness. 在生命的尽头，你感到已不再是自己生命的主宰，主体性只是幻觉，无法控制的力量在你体内翻涌、壮大，不再以个人为中心，明确而独特地律动。 在生命的尽头，一切皆可致死。死亡可能有所关联，也可能无所关联。在这种情形下，每种体验都是向虚无的过渡。 When you have lived everything life has offered you to a paroxysm of supreme intensity, you have reached the stage at which you can no longer experience anything, because there is nothing left. Even if you have not exhausted all the possibilities of these experiences, it is enough to have lived the principal ones to their limit. 当你承受了这一切，生活带给你的是一次极度强烈的爆发，之后你便迎来了另一个阶段，你将不再有任何体验，因为已一无所有了。 即使你没有机会耗费所有的体验，但最为重要的体验能被推进到极限也已足够。 And when you feel that you are dying of loneliness, despair, or love, all that you have not experienced joins in this endlessly sorrowful procession. The feeling that you cannot survive such whirlwinds also arises from a consummation on a purely inner plane. The flames of life burn in a closed oven from which the heat cannot escape. 当你感到自己因为孤独、绝望或爱情，正在走向死亡时，你未曾体验过的一切都会加入这一无穷无尽的悲伤行列。 这一犹如暴风一般你无法安然承受的感受，也会产生于纯粹内心层面。生命的热焰犹如封闭在热力无法脱逃的炉膛之中，生生不息。 Those who live on an external plane are saved from the outset: but do they have anything to save when they are not aware of any danger? The paroxysm of interior experience leads you to regions where danger is absolute, because life which self-consciously actualizes its roots in experience can only negate itself. 那些生活在的外部层面的人从一开始便得救了： 但是当他们对于任何危险毫无意识之时，他们的拯救是徒劳的。内在体验的爆发会将你引入万劫不复的境地，因为生命是自我意识的实现，它根源于唯一能够自我否定的体验。 Life is too limited and too fragmentary to endure great tensions. Did not all the mystics feel that they could not live after their great ecstasies? What could they expect from this world, those who sense, beyond the normal limits, life, loneliness, despair, and death? 生命确实太过于局促，太过于残缺，以致于无力承受巨大的张力。所有的神秘主义者在历经巨大的狂喜之后，不是都觉得活不下去了吗？对于感觉超越了常限、超越了生命，超越了孤独、超越了绝望与死亡的他们而言，这个世界还有别的可以期待吗？ =============================================================================== 生命摇摆于执着与了悟之间！查看更多1个回答 . 3人已关注
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