给女儿的一封信？ do your best in classes, but don’t let pressure get to you. your mother and i have no expectations for your grades. if you graduate and learn something in your four years, we would feel happy. your columbia degree will take you far, even if you don’t graduate with honors. so please don’t give yourself pressure。during your last few months in high school, you were so happy because there was little pressure and college applications are finished. but in the past few weeks, we saw you are beginning to worry (did you know you bite your nails when you are nervous?). please don’t be worried. the only thing that matters is that you learned. the only metric you should use is that you tried. grades are just silly letters that give the vain people something to brag, and the lazy people something to fear. you are too good to be either. 在功课上要尽力，但不要给自己太多压力。你妈妈和我在成绩上对你没什么要求，只要你能顺利毕业并在这四年里学到了些东西，我们就会很高兴了。即便你毕业时没有获得优异的成绩，你的哥伦比亚学位也将带你走得很远。所以别给自己压力。在你高中生活的最后几个月，因为压力比较小，大学申请也结束了，你过得很开心，但是在最近的几个星期，你好像开始紧张起来。（你注意到你紧张时会咬指甲吗？）千万别担心，最重要的是你有在学习，你需要的唯一衡量是你的努力程度。成绩只不过是虚荣的人用以吹嘘和慵懒的人所恐惧的无聊数字而已，而你既不虚荣也不慵懒。 most importantly, make friends and be happy. college friends are often the best in life, because during college you are closer to them physically than to your family. also, going through independence and adulthood is a natural bonding experience. pick a few friends and become really close to them – pick the ones who are genuine and sincere to you. don’t worry about their hobbies, grades, looks, or even personalities. you have developed some real friendships in high school in your last two years, so trust your instinct, and make new friends. you are a genuine and sincere person – anyone would enjoy being your friend, so be confident, outgoing, and pro-active. if you think you like someone, tell her. you have very little to lose. give people the benefit of the doubt; don’t stereotype and be forgiving. people are not perfect, so as long as they are genuine and sincere, trust them and be good to them. they will give back. this is my secret of success – that i am genuine with people and trust them (unless they do something to lose my trust). some people tell me that occasionally i would be taken advantage of. they are right, but i can tell you that that loss is nothing compared to what i gained. in my last 18 years leading people, i have realized that only one thing matters – to gain the trust and respect of others, and to do so, you need to trust and respect others first. whether it is for management, work, or friendship, this is something you should ponder. 最重要的是在大学里你要交一些朋友，快乐生活。大学的朋友往往是生命中最好的朋友，因为在大学里你和朋友能够近距离交往。另外，在一块儿成长，一起独立，很自然地你们就会紧紧地系在一起，成为密友。你应该挑选一些真诚诚恳的朋友，跟他们亲近，别在乎他们的爱好、成绩、外表甚至性格。你在高中的最后两年已经交到了一些真正的朋友，所以尽可以相信自己的直觉，再交一些新朋友吧。你是一个真诚的人，任何人都会喜欢跟你做朋友的，所以要自信、外向、主动一点，如果你喜欢某人，就告诉她，就算她拒绝了，你也没有损失什么。以最大的善意去对人，不要有成见，要宽容。人无完人，只要他们很真诚，就信任他们，对他们友善。他们将给你相同的回报，这是我成功的秘密——我以诚待人，信任他人（除非他们做了失信于我的事）。有人告诉这样有时我会被占便宜，他们是对的，但是我可以告诉你：以诚待人让我得到的远远超过我失去的。在我做管理的18年里，我学到一件很重要的事——要想得到他人的信任和尊重，只有先去信任和尊重他人。无论是管理、工作、交友，这点都值得你参考。 do keep your high school friends, and stay connected to them, but do not use them as substitutes for college friendship, and do not spend too much time with them, because that would eat into your time to make new friends. 要和你高中时代的朋友保持联系，但是不要用他们来取代大学的友谊，也不要把全部的时间都花在老朋友身上，因为那样你就会失去交新朋友的机会了。 start planning for your summers early – what would you like to do? where would you like to live? what would you like to learn? what have you learned in college that might change your mind? i think your plan of studying fashion is good, and you should decide where you want to be, and get into the right courses. we of course hope you come back to beijing, but you should go where you think is best for you. 你还要早点开始规划你的暑假——你想做什么？你想呆在哪儿？你想学点什么？你在大学里学习是否会让你有新的打算？我觉得你学习艺术设计的计划很不错，你应该想好你该去哪儿学习相应的课程。我们当然希望你回到北京，但是最终的决定是你的。 whether it is summer-planning, or coursework planning, or picking a major, or managing your time, you should take control of your life. in the past, i have helped you quite a bit, whether it is in college application, designing your extracurricular activities, or picking the initial coursework. i will always be there for you, but the time has come for you to be in the driver’s seat – this is your life, and you need to be in control. i will always remember the exhilarating feeling in my life – that i got to decide to skip kindergarten, that i got to decide to change to computer science major, that i got to decide to leave academia for apple, that i got to decide to go to china, that i got to decide to go to google, and most recently, that i got to decide to start my own business. being able to decide means you get to live the life that you want to. life is too short to live the life others do or others want you. being in control feels great. try it, and you’ll love it! 不管是暑假计划，功课规划，抑或是选专业，管理时间，你都应该负责你的人生。过去不管是申请学校、设计课外活动或者选择最初的课程，我都从旁帮助了你不少。以后，我仍然会一直站你身旁，但是现在是你自己掌舵的时候了。我常常记起我生命中那些令人振奋的时刻——在幼儿园决定跳级，决定转到计算机科学专业，决定离开学术界选择apple，决定回中国，决定选择google，乃至最近选择创办我的新公司。有能力进行选择意味着你会过上自己想要的生活。生命太短暂了，你不能过别人想要你过的生活。掌控自己的生命是很棒的感觉，试试吧，你会爱上它的！查看更多
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